Dear iPhone: The desktop is loyal. What's your problem? Watch it or I'll sell you on ebay and buy a 'droid. Yours, Pamelot

My husband traveled to Tulsa this week.  I stayed safely at home.  Yet, business travel woes somehow continued to plague me.  Consider this blog “Life Lessons in Business Travel #3271.”

Most of our communication when we travel is by text message.  Thus, I rely on my beloved trusty traitorous iPhone to do my talking.

Day one:

What I  type: “I love you honey”

What iPhone sends: “I love you Joey”

(MY HUSBAND’S NAME IS ERIC)

Day two:

What I type:  “I’m getting into bed”

What iPhone sends:  “I’m getting into Ned”

(DID I MENTION MY HUSBAND’S NAME IS ERIC?)

Day three:

What I type: “I need you here.  Please hurry.”

What iphone send:  “I need you here.  Please Huey.”

(HIS FRICKIN #$%^&* NAME IS EEEERRRRIIIICCCCCCCC)

“Lucy, you got some ‘splainin’ to do,” for real!

Apparently iPhone is a promiscuous little beast; that, or she is trying to sabotage my relationship with Eric.  Maybe she has had her eye on him all along…

Lesson learned: Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.  And use a Blackberry.

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22 Responses to Say My Name, Say My Name

  1. Heidiopia says:

    Priceless! Good word to the wise since I’m shopping for an iphone– maybe a bb instead? 😉

  2. Kim Jackson says:

    Bahahahaha!!! I am so relieved that your iPhone acts just like mine!! I have gotten to the point it’s almost just easier to call the intended message receiver as opposed to offending them trying to correct my texts over and over 🙂

  3. Peter Fagan says:

    And I thought it was just me that had trouble with the iphone changing my words.

  4. OMG, I laughed so hard I cried….with all due respect to Eric! Great piece. I have a “dinosaur” phone that is never on. I only use it to make outgoing calls. It frustrates my kids. Now I know why I don’t want a better phone!

    • Pamela says:

      Thanks, Martha. Technology is not always our friend. A cell phone that is not turned on can’t embarrass us. There is also the time I accidentally (my fault) texted my 20-year old step daughter, thinking I was sending a text to her father: “you have such a cute butt.” Yeah, that was a banner moment in technology for me. 🙂

  5. Pamela,

    Very funny!! Similar story. A friend has a web hosting company that experienced a short, temporary problem with one of their servers. When he sent out an email apologizing for the interruption, spell check changed his message to “I hope this did not cause too much incontinence”!!! I laughed the entire night with that one!!

    Karen

    • Pamela says:

      Oh Karen, that’s funny. Coincidentally, I bashed in the screen of my iPhone this week. I may have been my latent anger about the whole Ned/Joey/Huey thing, but it wasn’t intentional. Now I get to spend money on a new screen, so I can catch more of its abuse 😉

  6. Valerie says:

    My husband just got a new iPhone. Now I’ll be on the lookout for weird texts!

  7. Eric Hutchins says:

    Pamela,

    I cannot believe that you made my name public, just for a few laughs in this blog.

    Your EX Boyfriend
    Ned

  8. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Eric Hutchins, Christina Uticone. Christina Uticone said: Pamela Hutchins, Author on how dumb her smartphone is. #iphone #smartphone #blog http://fb.me/DtoMFrXI […]

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  10. […] I take pictures with my iPhone, as y’all know from this site.  But even for the sake of humor, I could not bring myself to […]

  11. […] supposedly in Tampa when my iPhone threw itself to the ground, shattered its screen, and started sending traitorous texts to my husband, I have reason to suspect her involvement.  I will keep you posted on the outcome of the […]

  12. […] My iPhone interrupted the death spiral of my thoughts.  Thank God.  I was getting a headache, and I […]

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  16. […] supposedly in Tampa when my iPhone threw itself to the ground, shattered its screen, and started sending traitorous texts to my husband, I have reason to suspect her involvement.  I will keep you posted on the outcome of the […]

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