Hey y’all: this isn’t really a “post” per se, but the publication of the oft-requested Relationship Operating Agreement that Eric and I live by. Feel free to adopt/adapt your own with ours as the model. We weren’t born this smart, either; we adapted it from the fabulous one you can see online here.
The (Exceptionally Wonderful) Marriage of Pamela and Eric Hutchins
Mantra: Make it all small stuff.
Our relationship’s purpose is to create a loving, nurturing, safe environment that enables us to
- make a positive, joyful difference in each other’s lives,
- respect each other’s needs and differences,
- encourage each other’s spiritual, emotional, and physical needs and development,
- practice caring, open communication,
- role-model loving relationships to our children, and
- work as partners when we parent and make major decisions.
Because we recognize that life is not always about the incredible highs, we are committed to these strategies:
- Stop, breathe, and be calm.
- Allow ourselves to cherish and be cherished.
- Be positive. Assume a positive intent and give a positive response. Speak your mind as positively as possible.
- Be reasonable. Am I being oversensitive? Am I dragging my own issues in unnecessarily?
- Be considerate. Is there anything to gain from what I am about to say? Is this the right time to say it?
- Be respectful. Don’t mope, don’t name-call, don’t yell, don’t be sarcastic.
- Be open. Explain your intent.
- Be present. Don’t walk away, physically or emotionally.
- Be aware of time and energy. After 60 minutes, stop talking. Schedule another conversation for 24 hours later if there’s no resolution.
- Make it safe to cry “calf rope.”
- Be it. Do the behaviors you’re seeking in each other within an hour of the first conversation.
- Be loving. Don’t go to bed angry or with things unresolved.
Eric asks of Pamela
|Pamela asks of Eric|
Enjoy! Feel free to contact me directly if you have questions.