Me, smiling. Clark (headless), hugging me.

For all that Clark finds a challenge, there a few things he does better than anyone I know.

He returns to center.  He forgives me.  And I wish I didn’t have to know how good he is at these two things.

It’s already painful enough to watch your kid hurt at other people’s hands, much less your own. To see him go through friendless years with no birthday parties or sleepovers, no pick up ball games in the park, no casual drop-in’s to play Xbox.

Or to see him hurt himself. It is excruciating to hear him say, “Mom, it’s just so hard to be me. If you could just feel what it is like inside me, you’d see. It’s really confusing, it’s really fast.” Of course, he’d say this at the same time he protested that he didn’t want to take his meds because they made him feel like someone else. But, still, I ache for him, and I think I almost understand.

So, yes, I am angry at the people who overlook his awesomeness, who see only the negative.

But I am most angry at myself.

To read on, visit {a mom’s view of ADHD}.  I pour out my heart in: Sometimes I Cry.

Have a safe and happy weekend,


p.s. Screen shots of some wonderful stories and comments on Twitter and Facebook.  And don’t miss the great commenters over on {a mom’s view of ADHD}.  Sometimes the comments are better than my post!



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11 Responses to Sometimes I cry.

  1. Eric says:

    This is such powerful stuff. I hope people click the link over and check it out. It is some of your very best.

    • Pamela says:

      I cried when I wrote it, and I cry every time I edit it, even now that I am editing it for the book. It touches on some really emotional issues of parenting any child, let alone a special needs child.
      Pamela recently posted..Peace out. Part 1.

  2. Eric says:

    I love to see that it is resonating with people. I don’t usually get comments on my “shares” and I am getting them on this one.

  3. Eric Hutchins via Facebook says:

    Needs a LOVE button to choose.

  4. —You are not alone, Pamela.

    I know several moms who have cried about this same issue.

    YOU. Are. Not. Alone.
    My Inner Chick recently posted..Winners Givaways and Water For Elephants

  5. Grace says:

    Facebook and Twitter comments are humbling. this subject touches a really painful, deeply concealed spot. I think I’ll publish some screen pictures of them. It touches on some truly emotional problems of parenting any kid, allow on your own a unique needs kid.

  6. kelly says:

    Thank you Pamela for writing this. I cried when I read this story, after going through yet another hard morning with my daughter. We yelled at each other all morning to the point that I just shut down and didn’t talk to her. I dropped her off at school without saying a word, then cried all the way home thinking I am a horrible mother. Thank you for putting yourself out there and telling it like it is and not trying to make everything seem perfect.

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