My youngest turned fifteen recently. She’s never had a real boyfriend, so lately she’s practiced her moves on the dog, Petey the one-eyed terrier. Wait, that sounds bad. He really does only have one eye, but he is a D-O-G.

So she was snuggling Petey, and she puckered up to give him a big smooch. Petey is a very sweet animal. He is also an enthusiastic kisser. He was so enthusiastic that he grinned as he zoomed in for his kiss. This caused his mouth to open. Well, I’d love to say a little doggy slobber and tongue bothers my teenage daughter, but I’d be lying if I did. She stayed her course.

Until she saw the two-inch cockroach on Petey’s slightly protruding tongue.

(Sadly, this is a 100% true tale.)

So that’s Susanne’s first kiss story, or at least the one I plan to tell at her wedding to Tim Tebow.

What’s YOUR’S?



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31 Responses to Sweet fifteen and never been kissed.

  1. Joana says:

    Lol. Your family gets funnier by the second!

  2. Maryann says:

    That is soon funny. Well, with any luck that will satisfy her curiosity about kissing for a while right? My first kiss was far less dramatic… Just a boy, mouth closed, other kids watching and laughing etc…. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Pamela says:

      My first kiss was equally unimpressive, MaryAnn. And i certainly hope that this one tides Susanne over for another five years!

  3. Terri Sonoda says:

    Oh lordy. That poor girl. I wonder if that’s ever happened to Tim Tebow? I don’t think he’s ever been kissed either, has he?

    (ok I’ll shut up) Happy Birthday Susanne! May your future kisses be roach free.

    I tried. But I’m laughing so hard. This was such a cute story!

  4. Curtis says:

    Now that is totally disgusting. It seems that Susanne will be better off practicing the rudiments of kissing with guy after all.

  5. Eric says:

    Still makes my stomach turn. Oh man, that was funny, and gross.

  6. Poor baby! A cockroach is not a welcomed date.
    My first kiss. I was 12. He was 12. And so hot. The football game. Everyone was watching. We slammed our faces together and slobbered all over each other. *sigh*
    It was quite sweet. We really trusted each other which made it a really fun experience. We never did any more than that. Just kissed a lot. Oh, the good ol’ days:)

    • Pamela says:

      LOL, oh the good old days. I think no I know I was 15, and it wasn’t too bad. The guy was cute, even if I didn’t adore him. Nice. No complaints. I have Prince Charming now, I didn’t need him then.

  7. Pamela,
    This is hysterical! But what a first kiss. Mine was in a game of spin the bottle if that counts. Looking forward to reading through your blog and about your book!

  8. Ewwwwwww! Gross! Dog lips AND a cockroach? I was 8. Parents had company and their son (also 8) and I were playing and reading comics in the basement turned rumpus room. I don’t remember the details of he said she said who dared or who asked or why but we puckered lips, kissed then went back to playing. Sort of a “oh, ok” no biggie. My next one was far more traumatic – high school prom. He did NOT pucker but tightly clamped his lips and pressed his lips on mine so hard, he nearly broke my teeth. I only remember teeth bumping and COOOOLD lips. Ugh.

  9. Andrea says:

    Poor girl, she is just complaining. When I was 15, I hadn’t got any boyfriends and I hadn’t been kissed as well.

  10. –Are you serious?

    I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. That is utterly and totally GROSS.

    why is Petey eating roaches????

    Haaaa. xx

  11. JennyBean says:

    The trauma. The nightmares. The dysfunction. The therapy.

    Bless her 15-year-old heart.


  12. Sandy Webb says:

    Ack! Ack! Ack! Ewwwww. Freakin’ dogs! Tater holds half dead critters in his mouth and then jumps on my lap and drops them on me. It totally freaks me out to the point that I sometimes pry his mouth open and shake him to see if anything falls out before I let him on my lap.

    • Pamela says:

      They’re so proud to give us their little gifties, and they want to celebrate with a big smooch!
      Tater is gross, but he’s cute ๐Ÿ™‚

  13. oh dear! I’ve had near misses before.

  14. Ally says:

    I’m simultaneously horrified and laughing my butt off. Oh man. That is a story that has the power to haunt for a very long time!

    • Pamela says:

      We all mention it 10 times a day now — whoa, petey, whaddya have in there, and if he’s chewing on something mysterious, “Susanne, why don’t you give Petey a big kiss?” ๐Ÿ™‚

  15. […] your dirtyย fork off my plate. You didn’t even want any. If you want more, get it out of the dish, with the […]

  16. […] Sweet fifteen and never been kissed. […]

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