Sorry Mom and Dad. Eric. Kids. My fans (haha, that made me laugh, I've always wanted to say that).

I really don’t want to talk about it.  I never claimed I was a role model.  All I have to say is that it’s Heidi Dorey’s fault. I’m taking a break from blogging for awhile, pulling myself back together, focusing on my priorities, taking it one day at a time.  I hope you can respect my privacy during this very difficult time.  All further statements will come from my publicist and manager during my “treatment.”
I knew this picture sucked, but I never knew how much until it inspired Heidi to photoshop it into a mug shot.  THANKS A LOT, friend. 🙂
p.s. No, Mom, I did not really get arrested.  This was a jooookkkkkkeeeeeeee.
p.p.s. Mom, j.k. = “just kidding”.  Get it?
p.p.p.s. Yeah, well, you wouldn’t look so great either if someone photoshopped even bigger black circles than you already had under your eyes, threw in a little pink eye, and dragged furrows across your forehead  (here’s the original picture).  Oh, and if you think people can’t download your photos off the internet and photoshop them into pornography, think again.  Not that this is pornography.  Or that it has ever happened to me.  But it could, totally.
p.p.p.p.s.  I’m kind of offended, actually, that no one has ever photoshopped me into pornography.  Instead, I inspire mugshots.  Wow.  The ugly truth.

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