Your choice — see the positive or see the negative — the #30positivedays challenge with Nan and Pamela continues.  Eric and I had a GREAT week, with it.  Saturday night we dined at a little French restaurant smack in the middle of beef country USA, aka Nowheresville, TX. The proprietress and our waiter commented to us as we walked out, “So nice to see a couple holding hands.  Quite a contrast to the couple at the table next to you.”

The couple next two us didn’t speak the entire meal, except to the waiter, and then only grudgingly, because they were both absorbed in their own smart phones.  And they ate their beef rare, which grossed me out.  I imagined I’d smell cow poop any minute, it was so fresh.  I digress.  Back to the phones.  Maybe that sounds like a perfect Saturday night out to you, but to me, that would stink.  I want my partner 100% absorbed in us.  I want a conversation.  I want to hold hands.  I want, yep I do, romance.

Monday we went to the post office to mail our taxes.  Yeah, speaking of romance, right?  Anyway, that was our lunch date before I flew out to Tampa for work.  We were standing in line, and an adorable little old lady behind us peered at us over her half glasses with the slide-over sunglasses lenses and said, “You are the cutest couple, it just makes my day to see you.”  We thanked her, told her how long we’d  been together, and then she said to me, “Honey, you are so lucky, because he looks at you like a newlywed.”  Cue the puke sound track.

The power of positive, folks.  All I’m doing is telling my husband the truth, but I’m focusing on the positive, and my focus not only determines WHAT I see, but it shapes how he acts back toward me. So, if you’d rather play with your smart phones, whatever you do, don’t take on this challenge.  I’d rather overlook my husband’s frog obsession and snuggle nose to nose.

We’re hearing some great stories on twitter of people embracing the challenge in how they interact with their kids, too.  Don’t save all the good stuff for your sweetie, spread it around the family, it works wonders on all relationships.

Before I share our week-o-love, please head over to read my Clark Chronicles post this week, Mr. Roboto.  Drop a comment/tweet/share it.  Browse Penny’s wonderful site/community for ADHD parents while you’re there.

Here it is, in all it’s glory, the He Said and the She Said of it:

Day 8:

@trimon29 #30positivedays Day 8:@PamelotH stretches me, challenges me to be smarter, better, makes me think, makes me take care of myself.

Day 8, #30positivedays: Eric Hutchins/@trimon29 has amazing, sculpted cheekbones. I know, not everyone is into cheekbones. I just love his. 🙂

Day 9:

@trimon29 Day 9 #30positivedays @pameloth is able to enjoy a rundown trailer in the middle of nowhere with the hum of a generator and a barely working potty.

‎#30positivedays, day 9: @trimon29 is a very patient stepfather, trust me, THAT BOY Clark can wear you OUT!

Day 10:

@trimon29 #30positivedays Day 10 @pameloth Holds my hand in public.

‎#30positivedays, day 10: @trimon29 cleans up all bodily fluid pet messes & deals w/bugs & rodents. This makes me very happy.

Day 11:

@trimon29 #30PositiveDays Day #11 @pameloth fiercely protects her parents, brother, and children. If she cares abt u, she has yr back.

@pameloth #30positivedays day 11: @trimon29 is a buyer of tulips. For me. 🙂

We had one of our normal bicycling “date nights” this night, but did it via texting & pictures as we were in two different cities:

Eric and I are on a bicycling date. He is in Houston and I am in Tampa, but we r texting and sending pictures. :). Hot and sweaty takes on a new meaning.

19 hours ago via iPhone · Friends and Networks · ·

Day 12:

@trimon29:#30PositiveDays Day #12 @PamelotH Though she has always known that her beauty captures a lot of attention, she is modest & without conceit.

‎#30positivedays day 12, @trimon29/Eric Hutchins is a meticulous date planner, complete with colored-coded folders, google maps, & timelines. Well, he IS an engineer, after all.

Day 13:

My new one (I’m posting a day early this week, so this is only day 13):  My husband Eric is the amazing sender of SMILE messages.  I’ll share just one as an example, but he does this frequently (several times a month), under the theory that he  “promised to be the one to make her {me!} smile every day for the rest of our lives”

—–Original Message—–
From: trimon29
To: Pamelot
Sent: Tue, Feb 22, 2011 10:18 am
Subject: Smile


We have each other to hold
We are happy
We are working
We have a nice place to live
We have wonderful parents
We have kids that for the most part are doing well 🙂
We are healthy
We are dancing
We own 15 acres in a wonderful place
We have a plan
We have a future
We have a wonderful today
We have love
We have trust
We have friendship 

I love You






Alright folks, there you have it, role modeled for you, but baby steps is all it takes.  You can do it!

Here are the other brave souls joining us in the challenge, daring to buck the popular trend of husband/wife/partner/kid-bashing:

My Inner Chick

Julie C. Gardner

Two Normal Moms

Wild Child Mama

Eric Hutchins: my husband, occasionally blogs here under pressure from me :)

A Stone’s Throw From Insanity

Little Bitty Things

Little Black Dress Diaries

Our Side of Paradise

Blue Cotton Memory

Momma’s Soapbox

Savor the Ride

LLM Calling

Myra CG Mibus — Idyllwild

There are other participants who wish to remain anonymous, as well as people I suspect are participating but afraid to say so.  Bwack bwack bwack…that’s my chicken noise for ya.

Wanna play? If so, I’ll add your link to the list.   Here are the rules for the sandbox:

Say something nice to and about your partner every day for 30 days. Praise her, encourage him, spotlight her best traits, tell us your favorite things about him.  In order for your participation to count, you need to

a) Make your proclamation 100% positive, no BUTS, HOWEVERS, or ON THE OTHER HANDS

b) You can’t ask for anything in return

c) You must make him or her aware of it each day

d) You also have to make sure you make at least one additional person aware of it each day

e) You need to either link to Nan’s or my blog, or send us an email, or comment to us on Twitter (#30positivedays), Facebook, or one of our blogs, so that we know you are participating and we in turn can send positive thoughts your way (the more of that coming at you, the better, I always say)

You may tell them why you are doing it, if they ask.  You may do it for more than one person, if you’d like (but Lordy I hope you don’t have more than one partner, or that may defeat the idea of intimacy we are trying to achieve here!!).  If you don’t have a partner, per se, you can select someone else important in your life for the challenge, too.

Keep it positive and between the lines, friends —


p.s. Guess what? I love my Newton’s (running shoes).  Plantar fasciitis-suffering readers, email me if you want to know more.  Or if you just want to run faster.  Ann Brennan turned me on to them.  Whoot!

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