Our household has officially entered the Stockshow Years, courtesy of Susanne and her beloved breeding heifer, Dixie. Some of y’all may remember how we got here: Susanne joined Future Farmers of America, suckered us into a cow, and nearly bought a herd? If that doesn’t ring a bell, read “Laugh Until You Pee” before you read this post. It’s OK, we can wait.

Are you all caught up now? Good.

So, Susanne spent October and November falling in love with Miss Dixie, starting at 5:00 am daily. Here’s a morning shot:


Dixie got to see her mama before school and after. In the afternoons, Susanne had to muck the stall and wash Dixie. Some days, she had to blow dry her hair too. Always, she was supposed to be training her to walk on a lead.

But here we had a problem. Dixie doesn’t like to walk. She’d rather eat, standing still. Or laying down. And Susanne doesn’t like to make Dixie unhappy. She’d rather hug her.

Like this:

hug 2


And like this:
hug 1

And who wouldn’t? Dixie is c-u-u-t-e, and soooo smart:


Also, pet hugs were not unprecedented with Susanne.


hug 3

See again?

hug 4

Susanne and Dixie had their first show in December. Dixie looked good, very very good. But she did not look like a cow who had been subjected to a lot of discipline. She mooed (incessantly) very loudly, even in the ring. Oh, and she would NOT budge. See this beautiful picture of them in the show ring?


It took a village to get them out there. Susanne’s arm hurt, a lot, from dragging her sweet Dixie forcibly around the show. And from trying to pretend she wasn’t, so she and her bovine could look super awesome together.

Her FFA sponsor leaned in and whispered in my ear, “That’s one lazy cow. More tugs, less hugs.”

I passed the advice to my daughter, who was appalled. “Nooooo, more hugs. Lots more hugs.”

She showed me this video on her phone as proof that Dixie would occasionally get moving.

But admitted that mostly she just does this:

dixie eating laying down

All was not lost, however.  We discovered the miracle cure: Alert.

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{No, this is not a vaginal suppository.} This is completely legal cow treat to put some pep in their steps. Or, as the website description reads:

A NEW caffeine and ginseng instant energy product now available in paste form for stubborn, lethargic and dead headed cattle that act too tame and have no mo-jo.  A product to put a little perk in their metabolism; much like your morning coffee or energy drink does for you.  Natural ingredients, drug-free.

So, yeah, I kid you not. Alert, for cows.

And guess what? Susanne’s closing-in-on-1000-pounds pet loves the stuff. Scoff not, my friends. Because, under the influence of Alert, here’s your sign:


Congratulations, Susanne and Dixie. And good luck in the Fort Worth, San Antonio, Austin, Houston, and Bellaire shows this spring!!



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