Eric + travel is always an adventure. Forgotten passports. Lost black leather jackets (so many lost jackets). Neglected medications. Because of that, we always use an acronym to be sure he forgets nothing. KEWL PIGS.
Laptop and charger
Phone and charger
Supplements and shots 😉
Sometimes it helps. Especially when he uses it. Of course, he has other problems we can’t acronym away, like illnesses. Wrong gender on travel documents. Canceled flights. Or, this week: airport changes, from one airport to another one hours away, with an ultimate destination of Jamaica.
So here’s what happened <3 We drove an hour to one airport to find his flight delayed past connection time. Eric texted me before I got too far away, to let me know we needed to drive to another airport two hours from there, for him to arrive to his hotel instead of by early evening to get in by 3 a.m.
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I turned around. Five minutes away, I texted him from a red light to ask whether I should get gas and food first, time being of the essence.
I pulled up outside the airport. He wasn’t there. The clock was ticking. I waited. And waited. And waited.
Finally, he came out, flustered. And exuding an odd, slightly unpleasant odor.
“What’s that smell?” I asked.
He groaned. “You don’t want to know.”
“Before we go do we need to KEWL PIGS?” I recited the acronym. When I got to glasses, he stopped me.
He lifted his glasses case, opened it, and got out his glasses. He held the case up. “Oh, I’ve got them all right.”
Uh oh. “What happened?”
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“I’m leaving on an international trip, my travel is delayed, and I was working with my travel agent while I was in the men’s room.”
“So, I needed my glasses while I was, uh, oh the toilet.”
“You dropped your glasses.”
“No, I dropped the case.”
“Oh, my God, into the toilet water?”
He snapped the case shut. “I wish. Unfortunately, I was . . . further along.”
Eric is known for relaxing in the bathroom. Sometimes he sits when sitting isn’t technically required. Think of it as energy conservation. Reading time. Phone time.
And thus I didn’t immediately get it. The glasses case dropped in the water. I thought, okay, yeah, best scenario, wet glasses case. Worst scenario, case dunked in yellow water. Yellow water is gross, but it’s sterile. Cases can be rinsed.
That is not what happened to Eric’s glasses case. His glasses case did a Baby Ruth dive a la Caddyshack into a public toilet. All Eric had on hand to remedy his unfortunate situation was cool water, hand soap, and cruddy brown paper towels. On a tight schedule, headed to a tropical climate, where he would unavoidably be using his glasses over and over in client presentations. Glasses he couldn’t afford to break by carrying unprotected, sans case.
My poor husband 🙁
But the man perseveres! He rocked the presentation. And afterward, he even had time to buy a new case for his glasses. Go Eric!
And if you enjoyed that floater story, you’ll probably enjoy another Eric floater tale, like this one. It’s my very favorite. Or if you want my whole book of this kind of love and laughs nonsense, go here.
Now, I’m off to continue the 30-day rewrite of Sick Puppy (Maggie #2)!